Well, it turns out I have tonsillitis and 2 ear infections (<--correction to my last post), the pain was so intense, my doctor prescribed another drug to help with pain and swelling on top of the antibiotics that I'm already taking. It made a world of difference. But I think the biggest improvement was a result of spending all afternoon with Bon Don and company, and crashing at her house. I really don't know what I would do without my Bon Don. Lacking sleep; sunlight; food ('cause I couldn't swallow anything); and human interaction, I was starting to lose my mind in my tiny studio apartment. Going over to Bon Don's and being around amazing people, and getting taken care of was nice. Confined to my bed, I had plenty of time alone with my thoughts. Intense stuff... It wasn't fun but I realized a lot in the process. One major revelation: in the past year I've grown a tad disconnected, even from most of my closest friends. It took a huge event for me to see that I redirected all of my focus to one place. I'm still pretty young in this life, still got a lot to learn, and I realized that I can't regret anything because I've grown as a result of each experience, yet I couldn't help but feel sad and guilty.
In the end, I gained a newfound appreciation for everything around me. As you can tell, I'm very introspective these days and I'm finding that being alone with my thoughts is difficult but I will persevere.