Gabby from Gabby She Wrote inspired me to tell the tale of how I met Bon Don. It's a luxurious tale indeed. Have tissue nearby. If you're like Narm, you might have wet wipes instead.
Follow me to place where incredible feats are routine every hour or so... Anaheimian niiiiiights. OOPS sorry! I went a little ADD on ya.
So anyway, I wasn't always this luxurious [humor me]. Before I moved to The OC, I lived in The Tundra, a tiny little town known for cows and farms n shit [Note: I did not grow up there, just lived there for a couple of years]. I worked at a call center, taking reservation for a hotel company. I couldn't wait to get the fuggoutta there, the smell of cow gave me a headache so the second I saw an opportunity, I transferred to a hotel. Bon Don happened to work at said hotel. She's worked there since... oh I dunno... 1872 or so.
My first year at the hotel, my office was on the first floor. Bon Don works in the basement [Haha they put her in the corner, where she belongs. You know, familiar territory]. Every Tuesday on my way to my weekly meeting in the basement, I walked by Bon Don's corner. She looked so nice and innocent [I know right?!]. I always smiled at her and she smiled back, usually we exchanged Hi's.
A year later, I transferred to the basement and saw a lot more of Bon Don. We ran into eachother in the Grapeslime, which is the employee cafeteria. She asked me if I transferred to the basement, then proceeded to give me the low down on EVERY THANG! She was like, "Don't be friends with this betch, her skin stinks mmkay, she don't take showers. And that other heiffer, uhuh, watch out for her. Don't sit on that side of the Grapeslime, that's where the peasants sit. Sit over here with us tomorrow". I was in love!
I came back everyday, Bon Don always had the 411. Dude, it's crazy, this woman knows everything! There's about 1,000 employees, she knows everybody's drama. And she's been there since before hotels had electricity or running water, so she knows all about the execs and the shenanigans they pulled prior to becoming execs.
So anyway, it was love at first sight, if you don't count that first year. And we've been inseparable ever since. Her hubby doesn't even mind.
Together, we've made people cry, quit, pee, move, see a therapist, attempt suicide, miscarry ...allegedly.
Did I mention cry?
We were never convicted.
Btw, she's London, I'm Paris.